And the thought is as clear as any moment.
You would lay me down on your bed, I would wrap my legs tightly around you and you would look into my eyes. I could see you trying to solve me, as you were looking through me. I hoped you would see who I was, what I had to give. There was so much more. But I was so guarded I couldn’t get any closer to you.
You knew me better than anyone, you knew there was something worth knowing. And that was all I ever wanted. I never told you about all the terrible things, I never told you about how life had treated me. But you could guess. The way I walked, the way I was worn and tired. Sorrow had set on my face where love had been drawn, where love had been taken away. I put my hand where you were holding me, and I wanted to feel the warmth of your body. Instead I felt how ephemeral we were, we could never last.
And I’d wrap my legs around your body and pull you in closer. I’d show you how I could love, because I felt I had little else to offer. And I pulled you into me and sang a song of release. You spoke to me like I was the love of your life, and I lied when I said I would never leave.